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How To Make Fun of "Citiots" |
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You Too Can Enjoy this Time-Honored Tradition |
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by Linda Eskin |
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Citiot - A urban or suburban person, in a rural area, who fails to respect local culture or standards of behavior. Derivation: city + idiot. Opposite of bumpkin.
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| Complaining about citiots is a popular pastime in the rural areas. Not everyone who comes from the city is a citiot - most folks move to the country because they love it, and are eager to get some dirt under their fingernails, start a garden, own horses, or just enjoy the land and lifestyle. Citiots are those people who try to turn their new rural area into the city they left behind. Citiots complain about cows mooing and roosters crowing. They whine about smells from neighboring farms. They tell their neighbors to mow their lawn (pasture) because it doesn't look tidy. They try to change others' way of life to suit their city values - sometimes through legislation or rezoning. Why did they move here if they didn't want to live here? And would they please move away? |
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It's not hard to make fun of citiots. Your rural neighbors will certainly have stories for you, and you'll soon have tales of your own to |
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share. They start with "Did you hear what they did now?" or "You'll never believe this one..." |
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Things That Will Endear You to Your Urban Community:
Smile and wave when you see your neighbors.
Say "I love hearing your roosters crow every morning!"
Say "May our kids pet your horse?"
Say "I would love to have some of your horse manure for my roses." |
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Some Things Citiots Seem to Think:
"There are no rules out in the country."
"Driving fast on these winding roads is fun!"
"Insects are pests, and should be killed."
"Wildlife is dangerous, and carries diseases."
"Everyone will love our decorative outdoor lights."
"I have a well, so I can use all the water I want to."
"Get your horse off the road. Roads are for cars." |
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Things Citiots Do:
Speed along local roads.
Waste water.
Pass animals or children along the road at full speed.
Ride ATVs up and down the road, bothering everyone with noise and dust.
Fence-off a trail or path that's been used for years by locals without exploring workable alternatives.
Pave, plant, or otherwise block public road shoulders.
Leave bright "security" lights on all night.
Install "decorative" outdoor lighting.
Set off fireworks around dry brush, or around livestock.
Burn brush or trash in windy or dry weather.
Smoke in or near barns.
Feed or pet livestock without the owner's permission.
Trespass, especially into pastures or fields.
Cut fences or leave others' gates open.
Hunt without permission, or where livestock live.
Grow non-native, invasive plants that can spread,
endangering nearby pastures and wild lands.
Grow poisonous plants near shared fencelines.
Complain about the neighbors' animals or property. |
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Be sure and check out next month's article Practical Tips for Living in a... Country Community
by Linda Eskin |
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This document was produced by Linda Eskin of Granite Hills Design, with the kind assistance of people on Equine-L, an online community of horsepeople who treasure their increasingly threatened rural lifestyles. Copyright 2002 © Linda Eskin.
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Read comments or post your own comments to this article at the bottom of this page. |
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Copyright © 2008 All rights reserved. The above article is the property of the Author and may not be duplicated or redistributed in any way without permission. |
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Reader comments for this article |
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Name: Patti Time: 2008-02-28 04:02:39
Comment: Hammer. Nail. Head.
Can I add - Riding dirt bikes on riding trails.
GRRRRR
Name: Dawn McLean Time: 2008-02-03 15:02:00
Comment: Oh my gosh, were you looking over my fence when you wrote "Some things Cidiots seem to think" and "Some things Cidiots do"? I've encountered every one of those problems plus a few more. I'm running out of creative ideas to deal with these nuts!
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